to the one who is about to give up on God
Hey. I get it. I truly do.
I've been the doubter, the sinner, the screamer at God. I've been the one to ask why certain things happen and then blame God when I don't get an answer. I've been the one to call God every name in the book (unfortunately). I've been the one who has literally said, "Okay, God, I'm done. Last chance before I bail."
I know, my level of respect towards God was pathetic. But it is what it is.
And even though my faith in God was at an all-time low, the little bit of faith I had moved mountains in my life and managed to bring me back to God.
Can I tell you why and how? Yeah? Awesome. (By the way, I've been in this situation more than once. This post is another story of how I overcame the hopelessness.)
Once upon a time, in a galaxy far, far away, a teenage girl sat on her bathroom floor crying angry tears and asking God why He wasn't there to hold her, why He wasn't fixing this mess, why it felt like He had abandoned her.
A wild rage began screaming in her veins.
"Why aren't you here? What did I do to make you hate me so much? Do you even love me? What's the point in following you if I'm just going to feel so far away?"
Broken sobs. Red-hot tears.
Then, a memory. A verse. A story.
"And when Jesus came to the ruler's house and saw the flute players and the crowd making a commotion, he said, 'Go away, for the girl is not dead but sleeping.' And they laughed at him. But when the crowd had been put outside, he went in and took her by the hand, and the girl arose." (Matthew 9:23-25 ESV)
--->Let's hit pause on the Depressing Story and focus on these verses for a hot sec, mmkay?<---
Did you catch what happened? Jesus told them to go outside before He did the miracle. And only after they obeyed Him, did she come back to life.
You catching my drift?
They had to obey Him first before their prayers could be answered.
And I know you're probably thinking, "I don't have any faith in God right now. Why, in the name of Purple Martians, would God answer my prayer?"
Ummm, welllll, did you read those verses?
They laughed at Jesus. They didn't believe He could actually do it. Still, they said, "What the heck?" and took a shot. They used the itsy-bitsy amount of faith that they had, and God respected it.
I know that you want answers. I know that you're so close to calling it quits on God, but listen to me.
Give Him a chance. Say, "What the heck?" and take a shot.
--->Okay, let's hit play on this depressing, bad mamba-jamba (is that how you say it??)<---
I took the shot. In my mud and mire and tears and brokenness, I said, "God, I don't want to give up on you, but I'm so close. Give me a reason to stay."
And you know what God said? He said to turn on Pandora to a worship station.
Guess what happened then.
Go ahead. Guess.
That's right! He played the one song I needed, the one message my heart was craving.
And instead of angry tears, repenting tears flowed. Peace flowed. Hope flowed.
He is here; I was just blinded by my pain to see Him. He never, ever and never will hate me. (How can Love hate?) He loves me dearly. Feeling so far away happened because I wasn't following Him.
God raised me back to life, and all I had to do was give Him a chance.
Here's some tough love that I wish someone had told me when I felt this way:
We get so angry with God for not being at our beck and call that we fail to realize that we have made no move to go to Him. Relationships are a two-way street, and even though God loves us sooooooo much, sometimes we have to make the first move.
Maybe that's our problem. We expect God to do everything for us while we sit back and relax. That's not how relationships work, though. (It's important to note that surrender is vital and, yes, God will take care of us; but if we don't seek Him, how will we find Him?)
So, to the one who is about to give up on God, don't. Give him a chance. Take a wild shot in the dark.
Let go of your pride, and try to find Him.
If you want the answers, ask Him. If you want to find Him, seek Him.
He is always with us. We just have to open our eyes and reach for His hand.